"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
