For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize