i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
