it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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