I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
