after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
