fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
