Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
