Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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