Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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