talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
