He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize