I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
