you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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