im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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