He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I could fuck to npr.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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