I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
