where am i from again
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
