There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
