I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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