You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
