If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
