i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
