guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
