Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
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I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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