i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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