SEEEEXXX PLEASE
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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