She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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