my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
