I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
