Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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