She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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