Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize