My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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