I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have fence marks all over my body
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
