You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
