you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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