My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
