this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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