ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
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grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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