he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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