Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
