at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
