I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
