I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
