i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
