I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
