Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
