Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
