Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize