Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize