She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
