Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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