I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
