Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize