we have pet lesbian snakes
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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