My nipple is on Facebook.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
