Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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