i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
