The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you never un-have a 4some
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
