i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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