dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
