I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
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and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
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And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
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