i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
