i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize