I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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