i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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