I want to stick my p in your. b.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
