And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
